Let's Get Real - We Don't Really Like Ourselves When We are Fat - No Matter What We Say

Yesterday, I wrote about one of the freeing aspects about abandoning dieting and the scale for three years, now I am going to write about the biggest negative.

I have never been comfortable with the school of thought that teaches us to love ourselves as we are, something inside me always rebelled at accepting myself when I was overweight.  It felt like I was giving up, which is why I resisted it for so long.  I knew it was not okay to accept and affirm a part of me that was disconnected and dysfunctional.

That is very counter-cultural in today's society but the truth is, we can do better and accepting ourselves as failures is just plain stupid.  I don't care how loud you shout it from the rooftops, the truth is we have to come to a true knowledge of ourselves and we should not settle for less than the best we can be when it is in our power to change it.

Just as it goes against the Holy Spirit inside of you to accept sin in your life or your body, no matter what the world tells you, our conscience will not let us glorify sin.  Let's use swearing as an example.  I have a terrible habit of swearing, I always have.   It is ridiculous sin in my life, it's been part of me forever.  I can accept that I have a tendency to do it but I should never love myself and praise myself for having a filthy mouth!  I should strive to change, I should do better.

By accepting something, or glorifying it, we give up changing it.  Even if we never lose another inch or another pound to give up abandons a lifestyle that is far healthier than one of fat acceptance.  Neither is really about appearance, fat love or fat hate, it's about choices and health and showing up in your own life and trying.  We hear a lot about self-love these days - I think it's okay not to love the things about yourself that aren't great.

Trust me, I've spent the last three years try to accept that I was just a short little middle age fat woman and that was all I was ever going to be.  It never worked.  I got good at living in denial.  I became profoundly disconnected with my body.  I really did not love the image in the mirror.  I think we do ourselves a disservice when we settle.

30 Day Jesus Challenge - Day 8 The Sin Problem

We don't like that word, "Sin".  It's too absolute, too judgmental, too ugly.  It's hate speech.  You know - you are right.  Sin is ugly, absolute, and hateful and that is exactly what we look like to a pure and perfect God.

We all sin, "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God."  Romans 3:23.  In 60 AD, the apostle John wrote, "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us."  1 John 1:8

"Humanity is tainted by sin and is therefore separated from God. As a result, we cannot know God's wonderful plan for our lives." Romans 3:23

We rationalize and make excuses, we don't think we are bad people.  What we fail to realize is that we sin everyday, in thought, word, and deed - by what we have done but also by what we have left undone.

Prayer - Jesus, I would ask you today to show me the sin in my life.  Amen.

Weight of Sin

The Reckoning

As the world spirals ever downward and the signs of the times manifest on an hourly basis, I am utterly astounded at the slumber most of the population is in.  I am burdened beyond measure to shout at the top of my lungs that people need to wake up, Wake Up, WAKE UP!  The enemy of your soul is at the gate and this unhinged world bent on self satisfaction is gladly ushering him in.

There is no coincidence that in vampire lore evil needs permission to enter your house.  Thus too, supernatural evil requires permission and society is beckoning it in with exultation.  Dressed as a sexy angel, the foolish world celebrates the fleshly desires evil brings with him.  They are drunk on the blood of innocents and scoff at the most High God day and night.  

Do you feel the shaking?  Do you hear the howling wind?  Do you sense the storm raging?  For the unseen is greater than the seen and wicked and dying men are blind to the calamity approaching.  A faithful and merciful God calls for the lost to repent and the remnant cry continuously in the streets, "Repent, return to God for judgement is coming if you do not."  

Deluded men say to themselves, "I am a good person, I have nothing to repent for."  This is a lie, for judged against the standards of perfection we fall short.  We have lived in a society for so long that tries to understand and excuse evil that we are no longer conflicted or convicted in ourselves or others.  We make excuses for everything we do: Well, I was depressed when I abused those drugs.  I was lonely so I slept around.  I was can not be held accountable,  I was born this way.  The rationalizations are as endless as the sins they seek to excuse.  We all do it, our self esteem depends on it.  Our society has taught us that it is harmful to blame ourselves and injure our self esteem but I say the opposite is true.

"If we confess our sins, God who is faithful and just will forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  Do you understand what that means?  That means that instead of making excuses and covering up for ourselves, we can be free of the bondage of sin and death, we can be cleansed and made whole.  We can be right with God and justified through faith in the Son, Jesus Christ.  

You are not damned unless you chose it.  God does not consign anyone to Hell, people chose it themselves.  They shake their fist at God, harden their hearts, and perish of their own volition.  For since the beginning of your life, "God has made himself known to you, through the rocks, the trees, the flowers, that at the end no man will be without excuse."  Seek the Lord, Repent, we have entered the time of the Reckoning.

Weeds in the Garden

We have had the oddest Summer; wet, cool, and overcast.  Our Dog Days of 100+ degree days with no rain for weeks have simply not materialized.  Normally, the areas between the flower beds and the lawn looks like a terracotta pot that has cracked in the sun, this year it shows muddy 12 year old boy footprints.  Usually this time of year, the fescue is looking a bit singed and the crab grass is coming on strong, it looks like Augusta National out the front window...

The grass is so pretty, it highlighted the fact that the front flower bed needed some serious attention.  An entire wagon load of weeds came out of there today; a whole Radio Flyer full!  It was nasty, muddy, mosquito infested work and I've put it off all Summer; (sarcasm alert) perhaps that is why there was so many. 

The Black-eyed Susans are lovely but they have over taken way more of the front bed than they were intended, most of them had to go. There was a new bug eaten weed out there this year, I think it came from the pine straw.  It was shallow rooted and easy to pull out but boy was it everywhere!  With all the rain, I was able to get after some seriously established weed strongholds.  You know the ones, the trees that go undetected in the shrubbery.  Often, by the time you see them, they are well rooted and established.  Digging them out with a big shovel puts the shrub at risk so often the best you can do is prune it to the ground.  Year after year, it comes back.  This year with two hands and a strong back I uprooted a half a dozen of these suckers.  After my bath, I went out to admire my handy work and behold I had missed a thorny vine that was creeping up the back side of one of the shrubs.  The only way you can see it is from the landing above. 

The One I missed

Whilst I was supplying the nutritional needs for the neighborhood female mosquito population, it occurred to me that weeds in the garden are like sin in our lives.  Sometimes there are new ones that pop up out of nowhere, they may be easy to pluck up on their own but if left alone will spread like wildfire and become a real problem.  Some sins, like the Black-eyed Susans, are plants we intentionally set out but get out of balance. What started as something innocent begins to takes too much time, or money, or simply crowds out other  potentially good things in our lives.  These can be hobbies, friendships, that after dinner drink....  The hardest sins are like the trees growing undetected in the shrubbery.  During our dry times, the best we can do is prune it to the ground where nobody can see them.  We know the roots are still there but can't do much about it at the time and out of sight out of mind, right?  Only after a long period of rain and cool respite from the blistering Summer heat can we, with determination and hard work, get rid of the really deep ones.  Finally, even when we're dirty, bitten, and convinced we are done, a perspective from up above will reveal a hidden one we have missed.

What's in your garden, Friends?  I had a whole wagon load....

Wagon Load of Garden Weeds