A Letter to My Middle Age Friend

Dear Friend,

     It was so nice to see you, I know we say it every time we get together but it's true, we really should get together more.  This middle we find ourselves in isn't fun, nothing about the middle is easy; the young and the new are behind us and the relief and freedom of the old is still some time in the distance.

     We are in the middle of a career and we wonder why we are still doing it and if there isn't something better.  Have we made the right choices and have we learned to live with our regrets? Our marriages have survived tough times and we've settled into that strange "Middle" area here, too! We are in the middle years of our kids with all the upcoming struggles of teens but miss the babies and know that they will be adults in the blink of an eye.  We worry if we've done enough or even if we've done too much.  Our parents are aging and this new role does not quite fit either of us yet.

Perfect Hobbit Hostess

       It seemed though, that our biggest area of angst was the loss of our youth.  Let me tell you what I see when I look across the table, I see my friend.  Yes, I'll admit it, we are rounder around the middle and what the heck has happened to our thinning eyebrows and hair but so what!  Your eyes are still alive and dancing with fun and humor and I helped give you a couple of those laugh lines.  The white hair around your temples is dramatic and it gives you an exotic Elvira sort of look.  Those sun spots on your face?  We got those hanging out on the Carolina Beaches laughing until we were hoarse.  Yes, our bodies aren't the same and they were better 5 years ago but we've had surgeries and health problems but most of all we've both quit smoking.  I see what is inside of you, over that temporary shell we fret so much about.  I know you and love you well enough to just see you.  My friend.

Hobbits Dancing

     When you look in the mirror, see yourself as I see you, and I will do the same.  Laugh at the ridiculous and no, you don't look like what that picture claims, because the camera sees a costume on a digital screen, and they have not invented a camera that can see what I do.  No camera captures the life, the spirit, and the warmth - the storm of nature that makes you who you are.  My dear friend, let us settle into this time and enjoy our lives.  We'll cook good food, make a nice home, love people around us, garden a bit, and read a good book.  Yes indeed, there IS something to be said about being a Hobbit.

Love,
Me

Top 8 Overlooked Household Cleaning Jobs

Abigail and Dolley readers if the house you are living in is older than a year, there are some things you need to clean that you might not have ever thought about.  Many of these, I have discovered purely by accident and then recoiled in disgust that this filth was in my house! (Disclaimer these are not pictures of my house but you will get the idea)  Here is a list of things that need to be cleaned that you might not have thought about:

1. The coils under the refrigerator.  That's right folks, the vent on the bottom of the refrigerator is an air intake for the compressor coils and needs to be vacuumed out periodically.  Dust and dirt build up under there, eliminate airflow and burn out the compressor.  I am ashamed to admit that when I discovered this we'd lived in the house 10 years, I thought it was gray insulation...
   
2. The top of the refrigerator, over the range microwave, and kitchen cabinets - grease particles and house hold dust combine to make a nasty layer of goo.
3. The vents over your range and the mystery vent inside the microwave - again grease and goo.
   
4. Under the beds - at least once every six months.
5. Bathroom sink drains - if you've never done it, be prepared... you may need to release the drain under the sink to pull out the plug.
   
6. Bathtub overflow cover - just too vile to even discuss... moving on.
7. The tops of tall furniture and door frames
8. Toilet bolt covers - those plastic covers on the seat and the floor, yeah they are disgusting if you lift them up.

There you go, Friends.  I'm vaguely nauseated now.

Happy Cleaning!

A Movie Review of The Kingsmen

Abigail and Dolley readers I rarely go to action movies, like the Westerns of yesteryear they are largely passe' and trite.  Always full of huge explosions, thin plots, and improbable story lines, they bore me.  Since the introduction of CGI, film makers take the former overused devises and now assault your senses with dozens of slow motion "flying side kick" fight sequences.  The new technology has made it possible to portray women with equal or superior strength and skills to men.  ((Yawn)).  The Kingsmen Secret Service looked from the previews to be an exception. I joined the family for movie night, fully expecting a smart and well thought out action flick in The Kingsmen; I was sorely disappointed!  This movie is nothing but Propaganda with a British Accent - awful.

(Spoilers ahead) - Here are some of the messages:

The Green Agenda - people are killing the planet. The Earth has a fever and people are the cause.  There is nothing we can do to save it so people must be eliminated.

The Elite Agenda - Depopulation - there are only a few elite rich and powerful folks who will be saved from the coming Apocalypse.  They need to sign up with the evil organization and be saved or be eliminated with the rest of the lemmings.

Christians are Vile, Stupid, Bigots and need to be Destroyed  - The evil test case takes us in to a hate filled church, with rabid Christians spouting filthy words from the pulpit.  Plain looking, inbred congregants gladly cheer on the filth.  Consequently, the sound track to the mass murder scene is "Freebird".  For fun, let's take a Southern Rock Classic about a bird (maybe a dove) and free mankind from the evil Christians.  Even the hero can't resist the call to slaughter.

The Powerful Fighting Woman - The Kingsmen did add a surprising twist in that their superhuman villain enforcer who was a tiny woman with cut off legs - who through her superior legs was able to route any and all trained men who would fight her.

A Chip Implant will Save You - Straight out of the Book of Revelation, the elite have to take the implant chip to be immune from the coming chaos.  In a very sick twist, they end up being the ones destroyed just like in The Book.

A Scarred Savior - Lest it be completely unpalatable to the viewing public, we have the story of a fatherless kid from the wrong side of the tracks emerging as humankind's Savior.

The Nazis Where Not So Bad Agenda - this one is subtle and will fly under the radar for most people.  "Pick your Puppy" was a training and obedience tool purported to be part of training for the Nazi SS, in today's kinder and gentler portrayal of Nazis it is implied that the gun given to the new recruits was full of blanks.

Destroying the Human Race is not Evil - After all, nobody calls Noah a murderer, right?  These noble souls are just like Noah is the rallying cry as the elites wait somberly for the inhabitants of the Earth to destroy themselves.  Their leader gives a rousing speech and encourages them to Party!

The Deviant Sex/Sodomy Agenda - Just for a bonus, the very last shot of the film is of a woman offering her rectum as a reward for the hero saving the world.  Yes, that's right the Savior gets to sodomize a royal princess held in captivity - oh, yeah.

I was furious when we left the theater, sold a bill of goods!  The irony of the entire flick is that the elite are ultimately destroyed in their plot.  The enemy holds these pawns in as deep disdain as everyone else, he knows the future.  I believe that there are higher laws at work right now, a basic spiritual laws that fly under the radar.  You see, the Lord has told us what is going to happen, He has put it in writing and informed all who would read what the future holds.  The devil is bound by the same standard, he also has to tell you what the future holds, the lies that he tells.  Each of the above highlighted themes are lies, designed to destroy those who buy into them but ultimately to condition the public for the coming deception.  The only major theme missing from this drivel was alien intelligence but otherwise, it was all there.  This friends is the plan in a nutshell, this movie has nothing to do with the true King's Men.  Don't be fooled and don't waste your money.  The movie is a loser, just like the spirit behind it.

Heaven is for Real Movie Review

Abigail and Dolley readers last evening I settled down to watch "Heaven is for Real".  I came away with mixed emotions about the film.  Like much Christian entertainment these days it is Laodicean in it's theology, neither hot nor cold and thus unpalatable. There were times during the latter half of the film that I wondered if these folks on the screen were even Christians!  The total lack of Biblical understanding filled me with consternation and in the end serves no one.

We are so "seeker friendly" that we don't tell seekers the truth!  Afraid to offend and drive off anyone, we soft sell their eternal destiny so we don't hurt their feelings or make them uncomfortable.  This is dangerous theology friends.  "Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.'

There are some positive elements to the film.  I enjoyed the depiction of a believable Christian family.  The husband and wife have a real marriage, with tenderness, struggles, compassion, and physical affection.  The family sings bible songs in the car and then rocks out to Queen in the next breath.  Financial pressures are real and so is compassion for people going through difficult times.  People of faith suffer in this life, the pastor broke his leg and then subsequently suffered terribly with kidney stones.  The depiction of this suffering rang true.  The fellowship of the church body at the beginning of the film is heart warming, it shows a true caring Christian family.  The call to prayer when Colton was sick and in the hospital brought me to tears.  To see the Body of Christ respond as intercessors before the Lord was powerful.  The first half of the film was fantastic.

The second half?  Not so much.  Filled with real questions about belief, the Pastor and his congregation go through a seeking journey that is more suited to those who have never believed in Christ.  This journey is fine and necessary for those who have not professed Christ as their Savior but is troubling in this context because what in the world do these people believe?  They seem to struggle with basic doctrine, what is salvation and how do we achieve it?  Is the Word of God true and correct?  Do we actually believe in Christ or is this just a social club?

The scene at the graveyard is particularly troublesome.  The pastor tells the grieving mother that he has nothing for her.  He admits that he did not say or do anything to comfort her at the death of her 19 year old son.  What?  It isn't difficult, this is Christianity 101 and these folks are treating it like it is a deep mystery.

I surmise they had a Believer direct the first part of the film and a Seeker the second.  A moving film in the beginning had my brow furled in the end.  Instead of clearly presenting the truth of the Gospel which is in order to go to Heaven you must confess your sins, accept the death, resurrection, and atonement of the death of Christ for your sins.  You must accept that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and ask Him into your heart and your life.  There is no other way to the Father except through the Son.  That is straight up truth and it isn't complicated.  Instead, the film says to the seeker that God loves us and that is enough to get us into Heaven.  If that were true then why did Jesus have to die?

I must conclude, that indeed "Heaven is for Real" but this movie and it's theology are not.

Our Year Without Food Waste

Abigail and Dolley readers this year I have set a goal to eliminate food waste in our home.  From a financial perspective, it is estimated that Americans are wasting 40% of the food we buy.  That is astounding when you contemplate the staggering costs to the family.  I recognize that we won't be perfect but we are going to give it a good try, and if I do have something go bad as long as it's fruit or veg, it will go to the compost bin.  There are tons of blogs about repurposing your left overs and I am sure in the coming year, I'll be consulting them for inspiration.

On New Year's Eve, I used my turkey roasting pan made a huge Bottom Round Roast with potatoes, celery, onions, mushrooms, and carrots.  I'd never made a Bottom Round Roast; always been a Chuck Roast kid of gal.  My son isn't a fan of chuck roast and it doesn't make good lunch meat, so I rolled the dice and bought a Bottom Round Roast.  All the recipes say to brown it off and then braise in the oven fully submerged in liquid.  Well, a turkey roaster holds A LOT of water.  I cooked it to medium temperature and it was hard as a rock, so I put it back in the 250 degree oven for a couple more hours.  I'd seasoned the water but this roast did not release a ton of juice so the au jus was just plain watery.

The veggies sort of slowly boiled and the meat had a good flavor, so we ate pot roast the next night.  I tried to play it off, because holy cow there was a ton of this stuff, but in the end it just wasn't that good.  So I started out the New Year with a giant pan of not so good pot roast.

Here's what I did with it...

Back To Eden Approach

Abigail and Dolley readers I have had a very interesting year, to be sure.  Personally and professionally, the ups and downs of 2013 have changed me, again.  I've learned to trust the Lord in a new way, it's an exercise, something I have to practice but it is there never the less.  As we approach Christmas, people will ask you what you want and in spite of three years of lack, I find that the Lord has supplied all of my needs.  When my husband asked me if I would like for him to build me a new vegetable garden, my eyes light up, well... like Christmas!

Some of my regular readers will know that I have seasons of "The Mad Gardener" in me.  Over the years, I have written often about the escapades in gardening and it is one of the activities I truly enjoy, sometimes....  I say sometimes because frankly it is often back breaking toil in the brutal heat.  I haven't been terribly healthy this year and I AM (horror) getting older.  Thus, I am looking for a simpler and less labor intensive method.

I am a beacon for mosquitoes.  This year, I could barely step outside without being attacked.  I would spray down with Deet for long afternoons in the garden but who wants to spray that stuff to take a simply mosey?  Merely stepping outside would bring a hoard of the blood suckers which result in painful fifty cent piece knots that itch for hours.

So, the garden, while weeded, trimmed, and freshly pine needled has not gotten my passionate attention or care.  It has been several years since the Kitchen Table Scholar in me set my mind to horticulture and in the intervening years I have come to embrace the organic lifestyle.  Hence, it was time to brush up and learn as much as I could about doing this chemical free.

Rabbit trailing around, I found the Back to Eden Garden Film which combines love of the Lord with gardening.  Hello!  You have my attention.  I was blessed beyond measure and have in the intervening weeks watched the film three times.  We are finishing another yard project in the coming days and after Christmas will begin the process of laying down our own Back to Eden Garden,  I promise to document the steps and the results along the way.  For your own enjoyment, please watch the film,

Proper Sandwich Construction

Abigail and Dolley readers I make a mean sandwich, perhaps because when you get right down to it a sandwich is a wonderful meal.  I have several hard and fast rules that govern my splendid creations, here they are:

Mayo always goes on the bread; not on the meat and for the love of all that is good....
Mayo never, ever, ever touches the cheese
Tomato goes on the mayo and is then salt and peppered
Mustard hosts the pickle and the cheese
Mustard likes a good dose of pepper
Sandwiches should fit their bread and often benefit from being cut in half
Mustard, cheese, and meat go on the bottom
Mayo, tomato and lettuce on top
Pickles touching tomato make for a slippery sandwich
Choose your bread wisely, thinner is better.

So there you have it, basic sandwich construction rules.  Here's a zippy little sandwich I threw together today:

Turkey ala Abigail (ingredients in order of construction from top to bottom)

Lightly toasted wheat bread

Mayo
Thinly sliced tomato (seasoned with salt and pepper)

Chopped spring greens or arugula
Pepperoncini peppers (tops off pulled apart to let the brine season the greens)

Turkey
Thinly sliced white American cheese

Mustard

Pepper
Lightly toasted wheat bread

(Note - if you are not into toast, you can heat this sandwich in the microwave (cheese side down) for 
25 seconds. It is divine.)
Enjoy!

Beer and Beads

Abigail and Dolley readers as I have previously written, I have a new hobby:  Jewelry Making.  Since it has been such a fun activity for my Mom, my Sister, and me, I decided to invite others over to join in the fun.  It was last minute so only one good friend could join but we had a blast.  I have decided to call the evenings, "Beer and Beads" and plan on hosting them on a regular basis.



Red Lamp Work Beads with Memory Wire Bracelet and Earrings



There are many cool things about jewelry making but the fellowship is my favorite part.  It's very communal: we share ideas, supplies, tools, and beads.  Pooling means that the individual outlay can be concentrated on the fun stuff instead of the supplies!  It also means that anyone can join with just a couple strands of beads and a bag of chips.

Beaded Ring

I have often lamented over the years of the lack of parties and get togethers, perhaps this is the avenue I can use.  I enjoyed the company and the sharing of the evening as much as the pretty bracelet I ended up with at the end of the night.  With each project, I learn a little more.  With each piece I define my own style and craft.  Our friend last night commented that she did not have a lot of jewelry because she could never find anything she really liked.  She left with a gorgeous chocker necklace and a matching pair of earrings, they were stunning and entirely her creation.  We have a new bead friend! 



"The Red" Collection

Thanks for stopping by Friend.  May you have a wonderful blessed week full of beauty and fun.  God Bless!

Me Beads!

My regular readers may notice that the meta-description of Abigail and Dolley has changed.  I believe it more accurately reflects the evolution of this little slice of the internet.  To celebrate the true liberation of this blog from a political forum to a life's journey, I give you BEADS!  Family time, art, creativity, and jewelry - how can a girl go wrong?


Beach Blue Collection

The blog title comes from a cute family story.  Mom first discovered beading as something she could do with her four year old Granddaughter.  What she did not count on is that her two year old Granddaughter would feel a bit hurt and disenfranchised by Nanna's new hobby with her sister.  She came up to Mom one afternoon and in a very hurt voice said, "Me Beads!"  Needless to say, Nanna was heart broken and the next visit there were plenty of beads for all.

Memory Wire Triple Strand Bracelet in Blue



In typical Dolley style, I am enchanted and of course reading, researching, and learning as much as I can.  One of my favorite resources is Off the Beaded Path; Kelly Dale is a brilliant designer and teacher.  My other new fun thing has been Pinterest, which is full of all kinds of wonderful images and ideas.  There are plenty of bead ideas and the possibilities are endless.   

I have also discovered something; my personal style is really quite funky and a little off beat.  Now don't get me wrong; I wear a French Manicure, have subtle highlights in my hair (no purple streaks), and there is not a dog collar in my jewelry repertoire - but I crinkle me nose at preppy and I am too voluptuous for elegant!  Thus, creating my own bling opens up a whole new world of possibilities.

  

Funky Blue Bracelet - Mixed Beads on Memory Wire



Beaded Ring - Design by Kelly Dale from Off the Beaded Path

Memory Wire Necklace, Bracelet, Ring, and Hoop Earrings - Beaded Earrings from a Bead Starter Kit

Email Rumors, Social Media, and a Healthy Dose of Skeptism

Abigail and Dolley readers do you remember the world before email?  If you remember that time, then you will also remember the first time you received an email that tampons were giving women cancer, that Nutra Sweet was killing people, and that their were spiders lurking under public toilet seats ready to strike.  Maybe you received an email about a gang initiation with headlight flashing or a prayer request for a cancer patient; in the beginning, we passed them on as true! We typed dire warnings to our friends and colleagues, MUST READ!  There have always been Urban Legends but email made them instantly accessible to everyone and they flew from keystroke to email box with lightening speed.

Eventually though, cooler heads prevailed and sites such as Truth or Fiction.com and Snopes were launched to combat these internet rumors.  You will occasionally still get one via email but not like in those first days of email.  People have become wiser, they are skeptical, and they do their own research.

I think we need to employ this same level of wisdom, skeptism, and research to news stories of the day and specifically to smear pieces put out to destroy one GOP candidate or the other.  Much like when email began, this is our first Presidential election where Social media is coming into play on a big way.  In that regard, we have not yet developed the same level of control we exhibit about hairless cats that turn out to be giant rats that eat your other pets...

Come on people, we need to get a grip here.

A Flower in Winter

Abigail and Dolley readers I have been using this down time to do something I have not done in more than 20 years - art.  While I am a rank amateur and have no false sense of my talent, I find it fun.  I wanted to share a thing or two with you, I hope they make you smile.

Some Things I Have Learned

Abigail and Dolley readers - I have one of those strange minds that retains facts and bits of information, I know a little about almost everything.

Here are some tips:

If you suffer from dandruff throw away the special shampoos, in many cases they make it worse!  Instead, everyday wet your hair in the shower, use a squirt bottle and put apple cider vinegar on your scalp, rub it in, let it sit for a minute, and rinse.  Wash and condition as you normally would.  Do this every day for 2 weeks and there after when you have a flare up.  Works like a charm and you can wear black again!

If you have really rough sand paper skin on the back of your arms - cut out milk and watch it go away.

If you get an ant bite, mix baking soda and benedryl cream into a paste, it will pull out the poison and you won't have a sore for a week.

Under the skin and cystic acne will respond to Icthammol Drawing Salve.  Simply put a healthy dab on, cover with a bandaid and the drawing salve will pull out the infection.  You won't scar and the pimple won't last 2 weeks!  Take an ibuprofen to reduce swelling and pain.

Kids will eat as much as they need.  Don't artificially over ride their natural tendencies and they won't loose their God given regulatory sense.

Many of us adults HAVE lost our ability to regulate our food intake.  The French say that the first bite of food that you take that is not as good as when you began is a signal to stop eating.  Try it, it works.

If you eat something and your neck, back, or shoulders ache you may have a sensitivity, intolerance, or allergy to that food.

Women - go get fitted for a bra, most of us are in the wrong size.

Check your shoe size - it changes.

Gained a few pounds and the jeans don't fit as well as they used to?  Favorite T-shirt all drawn up and doesn't hang right anymore?  Downy Wrinkle Releaser works wonders on cotton clothes to smooth wrinkles and relax fibers that have seized up.

Ulysses S. Grant - We Have Been Lied To!

Abigail and Dolley readers until yesterday, if you had asked me about Ulysses S Grant, I would have told you that he was a Union General that was elected President.  I would have said he was a drunk and presided over a very corrupt Presidency.  He was a failure in business and died broke.  I suspect that you, my kind reader would have said something similar.

What would you say if I told you that portrayal is a lie?  What would you say if I revealed to you that Ulysses S Grant was one of the greatest Americans to ever hold the office of President?  What would you say if I told you that he was not a drunk?  You are probably as shocked as I was to find out that we have indeed been so completely deceived in our recollection of this man, that the injustice of it is nothing short of a crime against history.

Ulysses S Grant - Photo by Matthew Brady

 It was this picture that caught my attention.  Most pictures of Civil War soldiers do not appeal to the modern eye.  I can't recall ever looking at one and thinking, "Wow, he's handsome!"  Thus, when I saw this yesterday, I had to find out who it was.  I was shocked to discover it was Grant.  The article was about how he was much maligned and how revisionist historians had painted such a false picture of this great American hero.  I had to find out for myself.

Ten hours later, I could weep from the injustice.  Ulysses S Grant was none of the things that I had previously thought except for the fact that he was a trusting man who was swindled out of his modest life savings and did indeed die broke.  Even the story of his death speaks to a man of unwavering integrity and honor.  In the throes of a painful death from throat cancer, Grant tirelessly composed and dictated his memoirs.  The proceeds from their sale were intended to rescue his families fortunes and he did not succumb to death until they were completed.

Widely regarded as the most successful Presidential Memoir in history, they are still in print and reveal a genius of wit and insight.  Mark Twain said of his memoirs that a thousand writers could not have tendered such a well-turned book where few if any sentences required revision and the simplistic language conveyed and imparted greater meaning than most anyone he'd ever read.

This was not the work of a lifelong alcoholic on his deathbed.  By all personal accounts and writings of those who knew him, Ulysses S Grant was a man of honor, temperance, and modesty.  He was a champion of civil rights, fierce protector of the Confederate Officers in peacetime, forged a humane and generous policy toward the American Indians, and crushed the domestic terrorism of the KKK.  He was a fierce lover of his family, devoted to his wife, and indulgent and affectionate toward his children.

He was an artist, a writer, and perhaps the greatest horseman to ever hold the office of President.  Grant was kind to animals and is said to have only been seen in a temper over a Teamster mistreating a horse.  He had an incredible memory and 20 years after the fact recognized a soldier with whom he had shared rations with at the Battle of Shiloh.  He recalled in great detail many aspects of battles, movements, and army life.  He was disciplined in his manner and speech.  He was humble and was always uncomfortable with the public adoration and praise that he received.

In all my research, I can find no contemporary of his who describes him as a drunk.  There is no indication of this in any accounts written during his lifetime or after in dozens of interviews.  The only allusion I could find of it was from WW Smith, who was a cousin and lifelong companion who indicated that Grant would occasionally not make himself available to people during the holidays while his children were home in favor of spending time with his family.  On one such occasion, it was written of Grant that he was drunk when in fact he had been spending time with his children.

Alas, he was a Republican and continued Lincoln's legacy to honor and protect the Black man and to heal the nation of the wounds of Civil War.  He was a brilliant General and an American Hero.  He was revered and well loved.  I suspect that liberal historians choose not to discuss this about him since it did not fit their purposes.  Shame on them.

For citations and further edification, please visit:  Ulysses S. Grant Homepage