For the first time in two years, I don't have a count down clock. There is not a bright red date on my calendar that I am anticipating. Everything we were watching for in September happened, except the thing we were really watching for... Daily, I lament to my husband, "I can't believe we are still here!" I'm not alone.
|Looking Up in Bewilderment|
I know of no one who was led by the Holy Spirit that there was a certainty. In the months leading up to September, I'd call out to the Lord for confirmation and I never got it. The best I got was, "Discern the times". He is just bigger than we are and His ways are higher than ours. So we move forward. Surgeries are being scheduled. Resumes are being written. Houses are going on the market. Fitness regimes are being resumed. All of life's disruptive events that folks hoped they would not have to endure are back on. Along with a profound sense of disappointment that we are indeed still here.
Day 29 of the Birth Pangs series, the Lord gave me a line that has echoed in my heart for weeks, "The Watchers on the Wall are tired; hoarse from beseeching a world that no longer hears, fighting an enemy whose time has come, and tamping down a desire so fierce just to be done. All the while going about 8-5 life like tomorrow is going to matter and being afraid that it actually does."
Finally, we rest in the absolute conviction that we were not wrong. Any fool can read the headlines and know that even though we are still here, He isn't far off. As Jack Kelley was fond of saying, "You can almost hear the footsteps of the Messiah." Maranantha, Friends.