May 9, 2014

Find the Balance

Abigail and Dolley readers the last few years have taught me that there is is a fine balancing act in this life and there is a path that we all walk.  I wrote pretty extensively about this last summer, I highly suggest that you read The Narrow Path to fully flesh this out.    So here we go... as I sit here contemplated the next words to write, it occurs to me that even in this there is a balance to be struck.  A balance between a full exposition of The Narrow Path for the reader who will not click through and for the other reader who has now returned to this post ready for more.  So let it suffice to say that the balanced, fruitful, and faithful Christian walk can be a tight rope in places and we must seek the Lord to help keep us on the right path.

As I've prayed this week, this balance has come back to the forefront of my mind.  Perhaps because someone recently chastised me for false modesty.  An honest compliment was given and I deferred.  In times past, proud as a peacock, I would have snatched that compliment up and devoured it like a chicken on a worm and then been pecking around for more.  Oh how times have changed!  I began to wonder, in my journey from pride to modesty have I again swung too far?

The extremes between two poles are easy to recognize but I am contemplating the nuance.  The line between realizing that no good thing lies in my flesh and assurance that I am living a life that is pleasing to the Lord.  Then immediately upon contemplating that I am doing well, realize all of the ways that I fall short and contemplating that I am a worm.  The swings between confidence and dependence; the false modesty where I put myself on the same level of the most debauched reprobate and then swing back to the full understanding that there go I except for the grace of God.

I have dissected my past mistakes ad-nauseum and as I contemplate moving forward I am loathe to repeat these mistakes of pride and self confidence.  I realize that I do not trust myself not to fall into the same trap again.  As the Lord answers prayer, can I pray in faith in confidence or will I become arrogant that the Lord is answering my prayers...I do not like being double minded nor can I put away a question that I have been gnawing at me, so I sought the Lord.

He gave me a Scripture that surprised me with it's simplicity and I have NEVER contemplated it in this light... this is a Scripture we use in times of suffering and trial, it is not one I've used to find grounding and balance but alas the Lord gave me, "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

Thus, in the nuance, in the gray areas, in the deep, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

The Beauty of the Lord
The Lord does not want us to stay the same, He delights in our growth.  He loves to show us new revelation, to give us glimpses of His character, His beauty, His power, and His magnificence.  To touch our hearts and flow through us like fire, wind, and water; to open our eyes to the deeper things of Him and invite us into the wildness of Him.  For I would rather spend one day in the presence of the Lord than a thousand elsewhere and I yearn with all that is within me when I shall finally be in His presence forever.